1. |
Frail
02:28
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An empty answer awaits
A call and response that will never take place
The sun will set on this day
Like my arms that are scarred from distaste
Casket carved out of self hate
Job-like in my patience of opening veins
Created for self wrath
I never mattered anyway
Frail spine broken and bruised
Now I'm stuck in this hospital room
Destitute, tender abuse
And I think I'm going to give in soon
Relief will vanquish my shame
As this sycophant carries the blame
Nowhere can feel like home
When who I am makes me afraid
Frail spine contorted and used
Dying to feel something new
Destitute, tender abuse
Skin dictated by half truths
Scarred skin
Draped in tatters
Die in vain, every day is the same
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2. |
Ad Nauseam
03:34
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Oh put it to fucking rest
You conservatives bore me to death
"Trudeau must go!" Screams Susan
An internet expert on the big pharma threat
If I had a dollar for every time an Albertan hick fuck wished death on a healthcare worker for "pushing their poison," I'd have enough to fund the surgeries you slashed, so you pussies could keep bitching from your lifted trucks a little fucking longer
It's a sore in the mouth of a gift horse
You were born in a time with more information than them
Play the victim
And yet I find myself again
Losing faith in my fellow man
Now that's what I call the Alberta advantage
Forcing doctors to another province
Keeping the street involved homeless
And keeping cancer away from treatment
And yet you scream "I'm a centrist!"
But I won't listen to pieces of fucking shit
Tell me what my problem is
When you don't know what my problem is
It's time to be held responsible
For all the pain you've caused
For all the deaths involved
For everything that we got wrong
We will argue in circles
Until your legs give out
And your eyes dry up
And your jaw goes slack
And your hate fucking kills you
Embrace the indigent shade
That are buried with their remains
Standing face to face
Remove the blindfold from your eyes
You're being spoon-fed fucking lies
By someone who wants to sell you shit
And you're too fucking dumb to see it
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3. |
||||
Locked away
In a chastity belt of casual sex
My mind is a mess and I think that it's time to put it to rest
I hate that I'd be a bed for you but not for myself
As a crippling chill covers me I'm fucking stressed
It's a shaking, a screaming, a feeling of dread
Shame that will not leave me till I cease to exist
It shoots up my back to the base of my neck
Giving hold for the rope that I'll hang myself with
I am nothing but my failures
Conquered in a bedroom of sin and regret
I look for a sign to heal me
Drown me in the exudate that effuses my chest
I speak only in tongues of deceit
Dyspneic
Seizing
Adult
Teething
Let me
Cave in
No more
Breathing
And here I stand
Face to face with what I've always been
A God-fearing masochist
From a Latter-Day suffered upbringing
Guilty, shameful, snapped like a twig
Symmetry in motion of self hate dehisced
And you're someone I couldn't care about
Caught in the mix
Guilty, shameful, you'll never learn
I'll never learn
I am not a man
I am not a home
I am a black hole
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4. |
Taut Rope
02:39
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Take my hands and pry them apart
And drive the nails straight through my palms
This is the day I return to the earth
Baptize my bones in soil
At least Judas got his 30 pieces of silver (I’m a spectre)
I can’t cease these fucking thoughts
I’ll push this gun just make them stop
I’m withering away like the ash from the smoke I suffocate
Taut rope pulled in downward spiral
Forcing me towards the gates
Every day I wake I face this cycle of addiction
So I fuck the voids away while I continue this stagnation
Lowered down into a grave I’ve made from this coition
Coerced by feathers fixed upon the wings of bitter trenches
Clamour at the fire at my feet
I’d rather drink myself to fucking sleep
The angels up above my head will look down in disgust
As I put out cigarettes on my skin while praying to be hurt
Maybe then I’d finally mean something to someone
But I know that there’s nothing about me that anyone could love
Born to fail
Take my hands and wrench them apart
And drive your nails right through my palms
This is for everything I’ll never see
Seal my eyes as I fucking leave
I don’t need anyone but me
I feel fine
I guess it's alright
I guess I’ll just die
What makes it so much stronger than me?
I guess I’ll always be weak
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5. |
Suffer
00:40
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Suffering
Lock and key
I can't stand
The sight of me
Nothing ever
Ends well
So fuck it all
See you in hell
I disgust myself
Failure to be
Suffer with me
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6. |
Glass Teeth
04:54
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Hell does not describe what I would make your last few minutes like
This isn’t a eulogy
This is a knife to your throat
Embrace me
I’m in endless pain
Enslave me
Shear your skin so thin
Erase me
Conscious withered to nil
Encasing
My hollow reckoning
Mercy
Cut the vein in two
Hooked fingers
Slide beneath your unctuous skin
Mercy
There’s nothing left to do
Pontificating
And if I ever see you
I’ll break your fucking neck
Your face is all I see
When I’m alone
Surrounding me
And when the aching moment finally comes
I won’t be able to stop
Until I feel the release of all your broken bones
Between my fucking palms
I have spent years trying to understand
What pushes a man to hurt a woman so bad
Bite your glass teeth on the concrete
I’ll forever curse your name
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7. |
Sentenced
02:47
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Who would want me now?
Envious flesh of the fix
I absolve thy earthly saviour
I will carry out this sentence
Every time I see my reflection
Rip straight through to my veins
The heat behind my ears
Match the colour of the waves
Food has lost its taste
I will burden those
Who are close to me
Crush my bones into nothing
I’ve failed myself again
I will carry out this sentence
Every time I see my reflection
Carve my name in my face
So you can spell my shame
Counting the bodies that have fallen prey
To the same godless mistakes
I’ll always fucking make
I will welcome this silence
With slit wrists in timorous light
Grinding into the faults
Of my contenders territory
I’d rather starve myself than eat
Than accept your head on his chest
Or my trembling hands around my throat
Courtesy of pins I swallowed
To stitch myself together
My gnarled hide will wax and wane
While these delusions push me closer to my grave
I'm sorry for what I am and what I'm not
Capillaries branching out to nothing
Hanging from the ceiling
From suspended goals cast in gold
Who would want me now?
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8. |
Exist
01:06
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I’ve heard the same story
From so many women
All about rapist pieces of shit like you
And if you gave me the chance
I’d slit your throat myself
I’d crush your skull in two
It’s disgusting
That you still walk free
After blatant sexual abuse
And since your friends defend it
Well then fuck them and fuck you too
It’s like
Running your tongue over a gap in your teeth
It’s like
Cigarette smoke when I’m weak
A constant reminder of what is always there
Until your lungs fill up with blood as you gasp for air
If this is a world where you can get away with this
Then it’s a world where I decide if you get to exist
Go fuck yourself
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9. |
I Was Never Here
02:42
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Your tone of voice
Makes me wish
That I was never here
Hatred grows in inches
And I’m measuring my mirror
Having a hard time looking away
Even though it makes me feel sick
And Christ I wish that looks could do it
Because there’s so much of myself to kill
Teeth yellowed by disbelief
How could you fucking do this to me?
You’ve spent your whole life in denial
And I was just a goddamn child
Your tone of voice
Makes me wish
That I was never here
So I lose this battle with addiction
And I give in to what is near
Scars run deep for all to see
Like crossroads, genetic history
I’ll never love my fucking self
You don’t know what this means to me
I couldn't tell you how I really felt
Because you made me think I was the problem
Now that I'm older and I’m thinking it over
I know that I've finally solved them
With you
You’re killing me
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10. |
The Common Man
01:11
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Work
Work
Work
———
Death
It’s all there is
It’s all just static
Everything
Is just white noise
I collapse my lungs
For I can’t go on
Bricks return to dust
Books return to ash
And then I open my eyes
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